It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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