Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
