Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
