Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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