I just cut my nipple shaving
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
