one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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