so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
