my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
