wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
