how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
