she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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