dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
