Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
