check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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