nut hugger
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
