Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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