im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
