yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
