So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Holy shit dude........stairs
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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