So drunk, too bad you don't want this
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
