Me too!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
