I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
