JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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