we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
