dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
