I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
