if i can run in heels then i can drive
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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