My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
