do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
