hotel room ftw
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
