Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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