I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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