theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
