Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
