Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
