just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
