Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
