End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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