I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
