just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
