The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
