the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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