Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All the doctor said was why
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
