Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have already put on my inside pants.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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