He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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