the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
