what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
