Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just had sex on a roof
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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