Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
