my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
