I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
