i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
