I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is the high leading the old right now
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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